Ah, my new morning routine. Good ol’ Trader Joe’s has me hooked on their Mocha Cappuccino. It’s so delicious and I limit myself to one cup a day (ok, sometimes two) and I drink right as I pump so I feel better knowing the caffeine isn’t going too much into the boys’ milk. By the way, isn’t this one cool cup? Got it from my sister🙂
I just want to say, “WHAT A CHAMP!” to our Adrian boy. He had a doctor’s appointment last week that was really hard on him. I can talk about it now because he is in the clear – as a newborn, he didn’t pass his hearing test on his left ear, although he did on his right. He had a follow up test, which he failed again. He had yet another follow up test, but the test was incomplete because he woke up halfway through (he needed to sleep through it). He finally and one last attempt at a follow up test and I fasted him for 5 hours (I felt so bad!) and he did so well! So well, in fact, that he passed! Turns out that he was just backed up with wax/gunk (whoops, hope the womb wasn’t all to blame) and so his left ear, we are happy to announce, has normal hearing! He will still be followed up on his 1st birthday, just as a super safe precaution, but I’m so happy this is behind us. Baby boy has had so much to go through already and the battles still continue. But you wouldn’t know it from looking at him because he is such a happy, healthy, growing boy! Here he was before the appointment:
Here he is as we were walking up to the hospital:
Did you see those rolls, by the way?
We started crib training a week or so ago, and I’m so happy to report that the past two nights have been going really well! Ok, at least for one twin. But I’ll take it! Adrian has slept through the night for about 6 hours before needing a feeding. He is a champ two times! I know that there are things called sleep regressions, so this may not last forever. But in the meantime, I am not complaining. Adrian amazingly slept through Jeremiah’s cries of waking up during the middle of the night, multiple times! I really hope Jer can soon go through the night without needing to be soothed or nursed. It’s such a painful sight seeing 2 am, 3 am, 4 am, 5 am on the alarm clock! I steal Z’s any chance I get, but I’m afraid that I’m slowly starting to have trouble falling right back asleep. I’m delirious to the point that sometimes I wake myself up thinking I heard a baby cry, but yet there was nothing! I would also stare into the monitor, especially at Adrian, wondering if he is breathing or why isn’t he waking up. I need to seriously let that go. I also have a mind that just races ALL.THE.TIME. and it bugs the heck out of me. I write notes everywhere, wonder if I’m forgetting something, think of new things that I want to address or talk to someone about… I wish there was a switch to just turn my brain off. Anyway, here is my new TV soap during the night, Adrian on top and Jer on the bottom:
I can’t believe four months have gone by already. At the beginning, it was 100% all about survival. It didn’t matter what the books said anymore or what my hopes and dreams where. The goal was just to keep these babies alive and happy and stay sane! Amazingly it is true that as time goes on, we would get better at this and learn our boys and their needs. We would gain confidence and make mistakes and learn from them. It’s a never-ending journey and so far, we don’t think we’re doing too bad!
On another note, I’m crossing my fingers and toes that we find a daycare provider soon. We had our first interview last night with an in-home daycare provider. Happy to say she seems great and I would trust her with our boys. But I’m equally glad we have 3-4 other providers to interview so at least we have options and can feel 100% sure with our final decision. Daycare is a whole other story… I’m feeling so anxious, worried, concerned, and all other kinds of mommy-guilt-anticing feelings that I drive my own self crazy. It’s not only hard to find an affordable place that is close to home and on the way to work with someone we trust and agree with in terms of child rearing and care, but to find availability for TWO infants is the ultimate challenge! Please wish us luck! While there is no one who would better take care of them except mama and papa, we will eventually have to leave them with someone so I hope she is the second best!