A fellow first-time mama expressed how she felt unattractive and such a “Plain Jane.”
She was worried about losing weight, looking good for her husband, and finding confidence in herself again. She asked if any other mamas had similar feelings.
Here’s how I responded:
Can relate completely. When your hair is falling out, you’re sporting eye bags and milk stains, and you would rather sleep than take a shower, how are u ever supposed to feel good again?
Then I tell myself, all that soft flab turned mush bc of the 3 mos strict bed rest I endured to give my babies a fighting chance to survive. Those sleepy eyes have passed on precious sleep to tend to, care for, and soothe your darling babies. And those showers dont matter because your one and only mission is to pump, take care of babies, and nourish yourself so you can go on another day.
Don’t worry, mama. The time will come when you can do ur hair, take a nice,
long hot shower, go shopping, and sleep long enough for a restful face. But until then, trust me when I say, “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!'” If you dont feel it or no one else tells you, just know ur little one has known that from the start. Ok, my novel is over! 🙂
Believe me when I say that in those beginning weeks and months, I did not know when I could feel like ME again. It was a treat to get out of my PJs and brush my teeth. I barely had time to brush my hair, let alone wash it, so I threw it up in a messy bun ALL. THE. TIME. My “uniform” became capris, loose tops, and the hair bun. When I left the house, I contemplated whether the spit up stains and dirt on my clothes could be seen from 5 feet away; if the answer was no, I did not need to change.
It is pretty gross being a first-time mom in the beginning.
You’re recovering from pregnancy: MONTHS of your body being stretched and a growing baby.
You’re recovering from labor and delivery: Some women go hours and days of the ultimate, grueling effort one’s body could ever endure.
And you try (sometimes unsuccessfully) to recover from the lack of sleep and rest, but you never seem to catch up (and I am afraid I’ve heard long-time parents who say you NEVER catch up).
I may never again feel 100% like my “old self.” But already I feel stronger, happier, and more beautiful, simply because I brought two lives into this world and their happiness and health fuel me every single day.
You’ve heard me say it before and I’ll continue to say it. From surviving to thriving, there IS light at the end of that long, dark tunnel, and I’m ecstatic to finally say I am literally prancing around in that sunshine. (Gosh, I am such a SAP!!!:)
I was afraid to post so many pictures of ME, because I truly believe life is no longer about me and it is about the boys. But that would be a mistake to forget about myself and putting myself first.
To all my fellow mamas out there, celebrate yourselves! Look in the mirror and realize what an amazing, strong, confident, gorgeous person you are. Yes there are trials and times you want to give up. But try your best to be happy more than sad, and always choose joy.
After all, happy mama = happy babies!!!
The boys recently turned ONE! Check out their one-year update here!